Quitting job bc of feeling angry all the time

[Aspychata]

Mental health is important. Low pay isn't good. Ask for a raise, then when they say no, you won't have any guilty feelings about leaving. If they say yes, then oops. Your position is very demanding, are you having second thoughts about this career choice? Accounting and law offices, were definitely places l worked overtime a lot. Either tax season, or a audit, or a rush in the law office that had to be done in time for court hearing was always ongoing.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I simply retired but was asked to stay past. They moved on so will your employer.

 

[paloftoon]

You mentioned you are not strapped for cash. It's best to be able to transition to something else, but you could quit even now it sounds like. You could also give the standard two weeks notice, which is the minimum suggested as you don't want to unnecessarily burn bridges. This could give you some leverage in the future possibly in a you never know sorta way if you give them two weeks notice.

I do like the idea of asking for a raise first. Ask for a big raise. If you aren't full time, ask for full time with benefits and full time pay and immediately.

 

[AprilR]

Awareness and praise can be wonderful, but really only if it leads to change. I’m happy that your work was acknowledged, but I can also see how this public praise would add to your feelings of guilt over leaving.

Your feelings of wanting to leave have been consistent for a long time. Consider what it would take for real change to happen for you at work.

I thought the same thing, right now i am just dragging through the days barely able to wake up in the mornings.

As of now, there is no new candidate that my employer approved of. I am waiting for someone new to begin so i can quit

@paloftoon: I dont think he will give me a raise and its past the point for that for me mentally. I want to quit and rest.

I work 45 hours a week already, and also work from home on weekends bc of the workload

 

[paloftoon]

I thought the same thing, right now i am just dragging through the days barely able to wake up in the mornings.

As of now, there is no new candidate that my employer approved of. I am waiting for someone new to begin so i can quit

@paloftoon: I dont think he will give me a raise and its past the point for that for me mentally. I want to quit and rest.

I work 45 hours a week already, and also work from home on weekends bc of the workload

Sounds like you're uncomfortable even asking just so you can say you asked.
Since money is not an issue for you, you should give your two weeks notice and then start looking for another job.

 

[paloftoon]

I just had another thought. Maybe your company is purposely setting up these circumstances because they want you to quit and because they want to save money. It doesn't look as good as them if they just let you go. Try your best not to get angry outright and not to take it personally, because it probably isn't personal unless someone said directly to you that they dislike you etc.
If you feel comfortable, ask for references and just say you have personal family obligations that you don't want to go further into detail when asked why quitting after two weeks.

 

[AprilR]

I just had another thought. Maybe your company is purposely setting up these circumstances because they want you to quit and because they want to save money. It doesn't look as good as them if they just let you go. Try your best not to get angry outright and not to take it personally, because it probably isn't personal unless someone said directly to you that they dislike you etc.
If you feel comfortable, ask for references and just say you have personal family obligations that you don't want to go further into detail when asked why quitting after two weeks.

That is not it i think.

I work in a very small office and if i quit there is no one to take on the workload. My employer basically relies on me for everything.

I am very confused rn because he still did not hire anyone new

 

[paloftoon]

That is not it i think.

I work in a very small office and if i quit there is no one to take on the workload. My employer basically relies on me for everything.

I am very confused rn because he still did not hire anyone new

If there is no one to help out, that is the employer's problem and not yours.
Maybe he didn't hire anyone because no one wants to the job for the pay being offered, or they didn't like your boss's or someone's personality during the interview process.

You apparently like your job despite all the complaints. So, you're going to stay no matter what unless you're laid off. You're probably not going to be laid off.
So, all we can tell you to do is try your best.

 

[AprilR]

I know i empathize a lot with my employer. But at the same time i want to quit on a appropriate time bc i dont want to leave on bad terms with him. Bc i need the reference

 

[Rodafina]

Maybe you could put in your notice now for a month or even two months. For me, even some of the most difficult working situations became more manageable when I knew there was an end in sight.

 

[AprilR]

Update: ı missed an important deadline and put my employer in a really difficult position. The guilt and anxiety i am having over this is really crushing me. It is probably best for me to stop working now since i really dont want to harm anyone any longer

 

[The Pandector]

Your sense of responsibility to your employer is admirable. It doesn’t sound like a reciprocal relationship. None but the most incompetent boss could fail to see the situation they have put you in. You say it would take time to train a replacement; your boss knew that when they fired your help. Your boss is bleeding you.

Since it’s not a matter of financial survival, but looks like a matter of emotional survival, it seems kindly but unwise to take responsibility for their mismanagement. I’d love to hear you’re free of them.

 

[Aspychata]

Face, your profession is overworked, and underpaid. You give up all your waking hours for the companies profit line. If you are lucky, and stick it out 10 years, you may be invited to the trough of profits by being made partner or associate. It's like a boyfriend dangling a marriage carrot, saying if you prove yourself, l may marry you. Lol

 

[Aspychata]

No, you are has only as good as your paralegals. It was my job to keep my boss aware of his obligations, or his secretary kept him abreast. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP.

 

[AprilR]

I don't know if what you are saying is true. Maybe i am just idealizing this job and my employer but this was my first job, and i felt like a valuable person there. The feeling of disappointing my employer is crushing me. I never thought i could even work before i started here. I had mental health problems, concentration problems, executive dysfunction etc. So i feel extremely grateful to my employer for giving me a chance.

But at the same time my rational side knows that this is just a job, and i should not get emotional. I may be deserving of a better job maybe but with how bad the economy is in my country i dont even know if there is a better option for me.

 

[Judge]

It is admirable to see someone so conscientious about their obligation to their employer. However in this century rest assured one is merely "a replaceable and expendable asset" in the workforce. No more, no less. A business model where no one is perceived as indispensable by design. Just another method of cutting costs through lower wage scales. Reciprocal relationships between workers and management are indicative of a bygone era- the eighties to be more precise.

No point in "falling on your sword" for any employee in this era. If you hate what you're doing, it's bad mental health to soldier on indefinitely. When there may be a better job out there, with nicer people to work with. Though wherever you go, everyone is a replaceable asset to their employers. Where more often than not, loyalties and obligations of management are limited to shareholders and the equity they bring to a balance sheet. Leaving employees and even in some cases customers out of the equation.

I've been an employee, self-employed and a shareholder of many stocks. Perspective indicative of all sides of this equation. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

 

[Rodafina]

You're allowed to make a mistake. Even a very big one. It doesn't sound like you are worried about losing your job over this mistake, but rather, you feel badly about it and want to leave your job. It's one of those very difficult things that we must accept - we will make mistakes. Sometimes, we can make mistakes much bigger in our heads than they actually are because of anxiety and not wanting to cause trouble for others. Remember, too, that sometimes the reason for mistakes is an overworked and stressed out employee. You've been doing extra work there for such a long time under very stressful conditions for you.

I think the best course of action is to just own up to it and do what you can to be helpful. Sometimes we can make a mistake and also be the one who helps fix it.

 

[Judge]

You're allowed to make a mistake. Even a very big one.

Depends on the employer.

I worked in occupations where if you messed up or missed a deadline, you were terminated for cause. Loved doing website design, but hated the endless deadlines. They took no prisoners....especially if you were just a contract worker. No benefits, and no protection. Just good pay.

I often wonder if for most of us on the spectrum if we should inherently avoid work involving very tight, and very consistent deadlines. It does make for very stressful times very often. But then I suspect most jobs are inevitably time-sensitive one way or another. Where it may come down to how forgiving an employee may or may not be. And whatever the stake$ may be as well. In insurance underwriting one could make errors that might amount into the millions of dollars. Watched one coworker lose their job over a costly underwriting error.
High stakes for moderate pay. Something wrong with that picture...

I just never felt I had any choice in attempting to avoid jobs with tight deadlines.

 

[Aspychata]

I worked as a paralegal for a personal injury law firm representing State Farm. So l think l have feel for that area of law.