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KevinMao133

KevinMao133

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  • KevinMao133
    My schedule goes like this:

    Morning: impossible to work, unproductive

    After an afternoon nap, I begin to work. Mostly I’m productive but however it depends

    I get going at night and I sleep at 3
    KevinMao133
    Living with others has ruined my mindset

    I need to regain independence, as well as a month to recover

    It’s like being an addict. Life is different when you are normal
    KevinMao133
    I just realized something: I have an attitude problem

    Because I’m a no nonsense guy and I don’t tolerate disrespect, I often find it hard to get along with others
    KevinMao133
    Shopping addiction is a problem few talk about but it’s not an issue we can ignore

    I try to stay grounded but sometimes it’s hard
    Tired
    Tired
    I have a slight shopping addiction for specifically food, because I'm scared of famine, so I understand you. I have tones of food at home, yet I still go out and buy more, while instead I need to save money.
    KevinMao133
    I saw a video yesterday

    I’m still traumatized

    It’s gross. I wish I can remove that video from my brain
    M
    Misty Avich
    A bit like me with the Cannibal Holocaust movie. Those poor animals. *cry*
    KevinMao133
    Anyone dislike the good old days logic?

    I don’t remember the past, nor do I care to remember

    Do society got issues? Yeah but I’m good and my family’s good, that’s all that matters
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    It depends on who you ask. But I personally have looked at it as complacency in times those people refuse to let go of. The rose tinted glasses of nostalgia has a odd affect on people, that way.

    But there is a point where not only reminiscing on the past. But generally living in it, is dangerous.
    KevinMao133
    I used to think white people have it all easy

    Then I realized something: I have it financially easy. They have it easy on dating though. It doesn’t help I’m socially anxious
    Markness
    Markness
    I’m an exception to that because I don’t fit in culturally where I live (Central Texas).
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    @Markness the older I get, I realized no one has it easy

    The people that are dating, they experience problems I can’t comprehend

    Everyone has it’s up’s and downs
    Markness
    Markness
    I’ve known guys who don’t even have to try to get attention from women. However, they express frustration about it. It baffles me because it looks like they are taking it for granted.
    KevinMao133
    It’s funny how the world don’t recognize certain individuals yet keep over promoting others

    I know I am strong willed, independent and capable yet because of my race I’m not advancing further. I should be doing a lot better than how I’m doing right now yet because of the color of my skin, I’ve been told I’m just another nobody

    I will change the world and this world doesn’t include certain people
    tree
    tree
    Are you talking about not getting promoted at work?
    Or what?
    T
    thejuice
    I'd say concentrate on the controllables. We are born the way we are and play the hand were dealt. Maybe you have to give 110% to get the same results as somebody else, I don't know, I've not lived it. I suspect it's not about capability rather we autistics have people skills deficit. If you could channel your exasperation into that?
    KevinMao133
    Remember, the only person you should trust is yourself as well as your family

    Most people are fake and pretentious, no matter how much they deny it
    KevinMao133
    I can have a million dollars in my bank account and still feel broke

    It’s like my brain is detached from reality and I have no idea what’s going on in real life. I don’t know how to explain this
    KevinMao133
    I seriously worry about my future

    I don’t know what I’m going to do next, I don’t know if I even want to stay alive
    tree
    tree
    When's the last time you ate?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Me either. I can't wait until I die.i hope the afterlife is a separate n place just for autistics.
    KevinMao133
    I just realized something: I’m secretly racist
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    If you do not want to be, you are just misinformed...
    Actual racists embrace their racism.
    KevinMao133
    I’ve been racial profiled again

    They called me a racial slur and claimed I shouldn’t be here

    May 31st, my last day here. I will never come back
    tree
    tree
    Where did that happen?
    In a store?
    Workplace?
    Or what?
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    In a store

    One of the security guards called me insulting names
    KevinMao133
    I don’t know why but I’m waking up tired now

    It doesn’t help I’m dealing with back issues
    KevinMao133
    Tired of masking

    I wish there comes a day in which I can be me without any judgements
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    The places I am a part of where I go I never mask anymore and tell them I am on the spectrum because they actually accept me the way I am. The other place I use to mask park event I dropped them last December. Not only was it a pain to always mask but I felt so ostracized there.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I feel the same
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Sometimes l stand on the outside looking in, and not sure why l have that feeling. Like l don't really have to belong, and it doesn't bother me.
    KevinMao133
    Still struggling with social anxiety

    Still don’t feel 100% in public, especially around strangers
    Judge
    Judge
    I'm never at my best with strangers. Never have been...never will. Though it's why I "practice" with store clerks and brief, mindless conversations.
    Jonn
    Jonn
    I used to have bona fide social anxiety/phobia decades ago.
    That was then, and this is now. :cool:
    But I am a lot older than you, Kevin...
    M
    Misty Avich
    I struggle with social anxiety in public more than I do around people I know. In situations where I'm less obliged to interact with people (like in public places) the more I feel like people are judging and staring and laughing at me.
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