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Blogs

Latest comments

  • Executive functioning
    I know what you mean. I am still not able or not good at a lot of the things you mentioned, which is probably why I'm diagnosed with ASD2. I'm...
    • Neri
  • Autism symptoms I have and don't have
    I find that rigid routines is a bit touch and go, because it takes a lot of processing to make them in the first place. For example, with...
    • jsilver256
  • I have never let go
    I know how this feels. To stop ruminating is really hard. I just try to fill my life with things i enjoy doing, and distract myself as much as i...
    • AprilR
  • Extinction's the Smell, of us Doing Well
    Beautiful. Poem's like these always show that someone has felt the shame of the scorpion which is the first step to the scorpion's fire. That...
    • Knower of nothing
  • Explaining why I say I feel "ashamed" about my condition
    Thank you for making this super clear! I'm a bit sorry I brought this subject up, but I did so with the best of the intentions because you spoke...
    • jsilver256

Blogs statistics

Categories
25
Blogs
630
Blog entries
3,249
Views
2,676,865
Comments
3,843
scleod
1 min read
Views
80
General
You could have stayed. Don't know how to be. You could still be here. You didnt take care of you. You esnted to be gone. Why didnt you want to be here, Anymore? I miss you, every day. Best friend. Texted you. Everyday, bestfriend. You werent always my go to but you grew into my go to.dependent...
End
scleod
1 min read
Views
78
General
Alone. Dark. Shade. Night. Break. Escaping the past. That was easier. Atleast my bruises were black. Atleast my cuts were deep. Atleast my life lost was an over dose or a suicide ir something in between. Non of this he said she said on repeat. I am in defeat. Quit. Then they win. End. For...
scleod
1 min read
Views
78
General
If I just dropped off. Would anyone care? I could just end it all there. Stop my exisitense. No worry in sight. Bresthless. Hopless. Not one fright. I love you, I hate you, I'll cheer you on. Defeated. Why must I be beaten? I've been battered and bruised. Id take the physical pain...
Chailatte_
1 min read
Views
102
Reaction score
1
General
The fog It settles with bold arrogance without losing its elegance. How beautiful you are, fog. For a moment, the world seems devoid of barriers, for a moment I feel lost but found. I admire you, fog, for being light and free, solitary and pure. I admire you because despite bringing melancholy...
scleod
1 min read
Views
98
Reaction score
1
General
Restless. I cant sleep. Cant eat. Lie awake. Ache. Mistake you for what was once hate. Jaws tired. Brains scrambled. Body bruised, beaten down. Sick tired in defeat. Im so sick of this misery. Im seeking out, screaming out. Speaking out. I wont hold onto the pain no more. Wont keep in tight...
scleod
1 min read
Views
88
Reaction score
1
General
I thought for a second I saw land. I was on land. Safe. Warm. All the necessities of life. Drowning. Water over head almost feeling dead. Burnt out beyond belief. Can I just leave here. Must I just sink, into the obis. Screaming into the void. Noone will call back. All alone no hope in sight. I...
Lilacleia16
1 min read
Views
124
Personal
I can sense aura colors and feel the vibe of a person with my heart field and know things about their personality. The sun lights up my chakras and I can feel energy being channeled through me. I feel the warmth of God like a whirlwind of light that picks my spirit up like sand. I can feel...
Lilacleia16
1 min read
Views
638
Reaction score
3
Comments
2
Personal
2-12-24 I didn’t know I couldn’t read facial expressions because I thought all there were was happy, sad, surprised and angry. Happy being turned up lips. Sad being turned down lips. Surprise being an open mouth. And angry being eyebrows down. I realized I didn’t understand when I was on the...
Xinyta
1 min read
Views
51
Personal
I am fairly certain I am gay. It just is starting to make alot of sense. I really cannot justify anything else. I've looked back a little at thoughts and what I tend to go to alot for adult content. I don't seriously think I could justify being with a woman partner. Ever. I'm, if anything, akin...
Xinyta
1 min read
Views
52
Other / Off Topic
It's going to sound strange, but I feel like I have gifted powers of a sort. I can see and sense alot of energies. Elemental and even emotional energies. Positive and Negative energies. Essentually, the auras of life itself. I can even tap into the source and feed from it, if I desire to...
Lilacleia16
1 min read
Views
121
Personal
1. State your Myers Briggs Type Indicator. http://www.keys2cognition.com/index.htm 2. State your Neurodivergence or Neurotypical Type I’ll start: 1. ENTP 2. ASD Level 1
Lilacleia16
1 min read
Views
167
Personal
2-11-24 I feel like I live in a world without people in it. I have people I talk to online like in this forum and my online boyfriend and acquaintances at church but no real friends. I only have my mother and we only talk on the phone. I get SSI for autism because of it being a disability so I...
Lilacleia16
1 min read
Views
118
Personal
1. State your level of neurodivergence. 2. Let’s focus on animals that are wild animals… Find your wild animal. Pick 3. 3. Which of the 5 senses are your stims dominate in? List your 5 senses in order of greatest to least. 4. See which animal above matches the five senses of the three...
Lilacleia16
1 min read
Views
115
Personal
1. State your level of neurodivergence. 2. Let’s focus on animals that are service animals… Find your sensory pet. Pick 3. 3. Which of the 5 senses are your stims dominate in? List your 5 senses in order of greatest to least. 4. See which animal above matches the five senses of the three...
Lilacleia16
2 min read
Views
65
Personal
A. Verbal stims: 1. Tap a pen 2. Swing my legs 3. Rock while standing from one leg to the other 4. Make groans or sighs a lot 5. Humming to myself til I got made fun of for it in school 6. Making bird noises very loudly like I am talking to the birds 7. Yelling at inanimate objects 8. Fake...
Lilacleia16
2 min read
Views
113
Personal
2-11-24 What’s your score on the test below? Mine is 204 out of 240. Free Neurodivergent Test The DSM V defines autism. I'll summarize: -Deficits in social interaction and communication -Deficits in making or reading nonverbal cues and behavior -Difficulty maintaining relationships...
AprilR
1 min read
Views
74
Personal
I have to get used to being alone. My parents who are in their 70s still act like they will live forever. When i ask them how to do certain things they do it in my stead. For exanple i have no idea how to pay taxes. I asked mom how to do it and she said we will do it together. I guess they...
Lilacleia16
3 min read
Views
504
Reaction score
1
Comments
2
Personal
How do you see the world as an autistic person? There are 5 options and they are each governed by one of the five senses. Explain your perspective. 1. Stereovision 2. Vibration vision 3. Picture vision 4. Smell pictures 5. Taste visualizations I'll go first: Temple Grandin described picture...
Lilacleia16
4 min read
Views
503
Reaction score
1
Comments
7
Personal
2-9-24 One of my therapists (that’s actually not the autism specialist) has a lot to say about my autism. But not all of it is helpful. He links taking a shower or not taking a shower being due to no sense of external control. This translates to me as will. It’s not a matter of the will though...
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