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Recent content by Beanfinity

  1. Beanfinity

    Overbearing parent or am I being too selfish? halp

    Oh, I see. I was wondering what the reaction might be if I whip out a piece of paper in front of my dad lol I do like planning or 'scripting' social situations. I've never thought to write it down because I thought it was weird enough that I went through it in my head. An NT notion that is still...
  2. Beanfinity

    Overbearing parent or am I being too selfish? halp

    Thank you for the offer, I may take you up on that after I have had a think about the replies/advice I have received. I am in a... different family situation. The short of it all is that I am adopted. That extra bit of, 'but we share genetics, we should be more alike' doesn't come into play...
  3. Beanfinity

    Overbearing parent or am I being too selfish? halp

    I see where you're coming from, and I have used the same logic myself for most of my life. That exact thinking is what has led me to this burnout. "I just need to be a little tolerant, temporarily, until I get a break, until something lets up so I can mend." The problem is, it never lets up. My...
  4. Beanfinity

    Overbearing parent or am I being too selfish? halp

    Hmm writing things down helps me a lot. I've just never thought to bring the paper out in a conversation. These discussions tend to derail and it's hard to bring it back to the real issues, but if I had an agenda of sorts, then I could remember what we're actually talking about. Something I've...
  5. Beanfinity

    Overbearing parent or am I being too selfish? halp

    I think your post got cut off at the end there? Feel free to reply and finish your thought if you want. In response to what you have said re narcs (narcissists), i don't think my dad is a narc, clinically, but he is certainly 'egocentric'. He has strong opinions and won't budge even if you...
  6. Beanfinity

    Overbearing parent or am I being too selfish? halp

    I appreciate the advice, I tend to have trouble wording things in a... better way? I tend to be very blunt and straightforward. Your suggestions are helpful. He has expressed his is more worried about me now, and I have said that doesn't help me and only stresses him out more. If I need him, I...
  7. Beanfinity

    Overbearing parent or am I being too selfish? halp

    The only thing I rely on him for at the moment is the place to live, and to borrow the car every now and then for errands. I pay for living expenses on my own. My leave of absence from work is temporary, I am planning to move back in just a few months. This is part of his reason for...
  8. Beanfinity

    Overbearing parent or am I being too selfish? halp

    Here's the heart of the issue: I really need time alone, as in I don't even want to be contacted or asked how I am doing or anything. I only have the energy to text with a few friends, and that's on a very irregular basis (which they are all totally fine with. I can go days without responding...
  9. Beanfinity

    Recovering from burnout - re-entering the realm of socializing

    @paloftoon These are great suggestions, thank you! I will definitely look into these type of things. I am not in the US, I am in Canada, but I'm moving to Mexico soon to be with family, so it's kind of a moot point lol
  10. Beanfinity

    Recovering from burnout - re-entering the realm of socializing

    Hi @paloftoon Thanks for the advice! Do you have any examples of activities like that, little commitment and can leave day of?
  11. Beanfinity

    Recovering from burnout - re-entering the realm of socializing

    Hi @Outdated Thank you for the insight. I want to keep pressing and say, 'but no, there must be a way to unmask and get along!', but I see what you mean. I am most comfortable when I am not socializing at all, which is integral to forming any kind of relationship. It follows that if you don't...
  12. Beanfinity

    Recovering from burnout - re-entering the realm of socializing

    Hi @AspieChris Funny you describe it this way, I always thought of it as a series of 'if-then' statements, or branches of choices based on what input I get from the other person. If they ask how my day was, and they are this level of friend, then I have these three choices to respond with. If...
  13. Beanfinity

    Recovering from burnout - re-entering the realm of socializing

    Hi @Kaz2012 Thank you for sharing, this helps a lot! It does make me feel better to hear about other people's experiences. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your relationship. I am in a similar situation as you, my partner and I split up a month ago (although, my 5yrs does not compare to...
  14. Beanfinity

    Recovering from burnout - re-entering the realm of socializing

    A year ago was when I came to realize my autism-ness and also realized I was in the deep trenches of a burnout. I didn't know what I had been doing was masking for my entire life. I have been isolating myself for about a year from neurotypical social outings (group activities, dinners/nights at...
  15. Beanfinity

    So masking? How can you tell the difference between the real you and the masked you?

    I call my mask a 'social script', like computer programming or a screenplay. In almost all social situations, I prefer to observe. I prefer to listen, and only respond when spoken to. I enjoy people's presence without the need to interact with them. But that's not how people usually socialize...
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